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My name is Joseph Carlson, and I’m a thinker. I was born in 1986, very intelligent and highly talented, but through the years I became a case of suppressed intellect, so you wouldn’t really know it from knowing me on a casual basis, beyond the artistic talent. Before I grew too old, my observations of life were challenged by strange events; Paranormal happenings and the passing of impossible odds plagued my life and defied explanation. I had some childhood traumas that shifted my focus down the proverbial rabbit hole and into myself, and I found so much that needed only to be articulated. It was a strange childhood that effectively beat many elements of myself out of me. Then one day in 2007, I had a thought that seemed to connect my whole brain in a single overloaded moment. It was brief, but the only way I can describe it is that it felt like every neuron in my head fired at once, like one thought led to virtually every other thought, and I saw it all in an instant. Soon after, on a whim, I tried mind-reading and it just kept working. I examined the process from the inside, for about a year, until I could figure out all I could, so I could prove it to my friends and family. I made quite a few social splashes with my talent around the city that year. Some of my successful reads still demanded physical proof, so I learned to use my new skills to find 4-leaf clovers. I saved some of my social structure, having proven something strange was going on in my brain, and now the proof is spread across the planet in the form of clover-pendants, that I used to sell, but mainly I just kinda give them away. In the end, I found something, not just an inkling, but a certainty, of something I once thought impossible. I will be sharing every detail I can recall, including my psychic history, regular anecdotes, specific paranormal events, helpful revelations, scientific concepts, mental exercises, spiritual guidance, weird discoveries (like a type of Orgasm unknown to science), and specific understandable instructions on where to look in your head to see things that are not of your own thoughts. I want to specify, all I have is a process that worked for me and the couple other people I taught it to, I cannot guarantee that I have everything correct, all I can truly know about it is that I’m doing something right, and I intend to pass on my progress. I’m not a writer, and this isn’t something I ever thought I’d need to take notes for, so you get what you get, but I’ll do my best to be understandable. An early tip I’ll explain later: Be discreet about your interest in this stuff, maybe no likes or shares, its just smart. With that being said, I welcome you to the Vocanic Weird.
In my writings, we are going to be approaching some topics that are legendarily difficult to deal with, and I can’t promise that my experiences will prove useful for everyone right away, or work 100% of the time. There are too many x-factors, literally millions of things that might affect connectivity. For example, the main reason for this disclaimer, there aren’t always visuals when I close my eyes, and I hypothesize there is a correlation with the same wavelength human REM sleep follows, because it seems to physiologically turn on or off every 2 hours or so. I’ve also found some people I was never able to mind-read at all, and I’ve noticed sound to be a disruptive factor. I predict that not everyone will succeed with my psychic process, the same way not everyone will feel a tingle when music peaks, or be able to make their ears rumble, but I have faith that everyone can find their way to it in the right circumstances. Some people wouldn’t even tell you if you did read them right. Maybe their minds are just that different and their brainpower is hyper-focused in the wrong places where mind-reading can’t reach them. There is also no visualization that can’t be contaminated by an imagination. All these possible reasons and infinite more are why I had to approach this carefully. It’s not remotely practical to rely on, but I still made an 80% success rate, and of all the possible things I could be trying to be do with my mind, I stuck with image-pulling. I expect people will find other ways to use the psychic realm to do other things they are better suited for. There is still so much to be discovered.
By now, you might be wondering how I think I’m qualified to speak on the topic of psychic phenomena, and I can only bring up two or three solid reasons. The first is success. I did an experiment that worked and it continued to work. The second is no more than the fact that I lie awake at night, questioning everything about my existence, so I’ve put a lot of thought into it with stakes not many people have been able to use as a driving force. Another is my history of figuring out difficult problems: Alice in Wonderland has a riddle so ridiculous that not many people even have a hypothesis, but I submit that a raven is like a writing desk in that the feathers they bear channel black. This all might read like narcissistic self-promotion, but really I’m not trying to say I’m anybody special, that would ruin my point, and be fully aware my credibility isn’t perfect. If one were to dig, there’s plenty out there to smear me with, I’ve made a few decisions that would’ve been different if I were confident I was going to be alive month after month, it was a rough period. Due to the sensitive nature of the process, I tried to keep it all off-paper, but that was really easy, because I didn’t exactly start out to research anything. I found myself in this, and there was just a point when I realized I knew enough to have an idea of what’s going on. So, maybe I’m nobody, but if you can’t trust my background, trust my intention. I’m the same person who, when he was 5, told his teacher at Sunday school that he wanted to be saint when he grew up, and I have dreams about being the guy to give my friends superpowers. The main thing I try to portray is that everyone already has everything they need to do amazing things. Really, everyone is probably aware, on some level, of everything of particular importance that I’ll be telling them, I’m just going to be connecting the dots that have always been there.
I want to do good, which means keeping things fair. I want people to feel safe and equally capable, and I’ll reach into the flames to save a small animal from a drunken party goer, because I care deeply for every life. I could be out using my skills to make outlandish bets, gamble at casinos, or use them just to intimidate or control. Despite the success I’ve had, I know I still have no right to say, “I know you’re wrong because I’m psychic.” That’s a real red flag saying somebody doesn’t know what they’re doing. Sometimes gut feelings are wrong, or flashes get contaminated by an imagination, or it just might be feeling something somebody is not used to, and putting too much emphasis on those cases can unjustly destroy lives if not handled responsibly. My point here is, there are ethical problems that will come up with psychic phenomena, and more responsibilities than I could ever recount, and I’ve spent over 10 years examining my process and articulating it with a guiding hand in mind. I know to stay out of minds that don’t want me there, though sometimes I just see what I see, and I try to solve my problems without my special skills. I’m a human being and I can still only do things that humans can do, as in, my limits are likely indiscernible from your limits, don’t put me above you. Believe me, if I can do it, you could too if you actually tried, and you could probably do it better. I’m not here to impress people so much as draw confidence out of them.
I’m bringing this up early because it was one of my first exposures to psychic phenomena. I probably had an excuse to bring it into the second entry, but I think it deserves more attention than that. You may have heard stories about people who have suffered through some sort of severe psychological and physical trauma, and then came out of it with special anomalous and paranormal talents. I remember when I first heard this. It was first or second grade, I can’t remember because I had the same teacher both years, but I was the oldest in class and I took that position seriously for some reason, so I tried paying attention to all of the people around me so I could watch them catch up to me. I enjoyed getting to see people move forward. One day, a story came up about someone who just instinctively knew something, and the students began asking the teacher psychic themed questions. Eventually she let slip the correlation between trauma and psychic powers, and the coming week was a psychological disaster. This was the first time I ever saw people on the playground fighting over who had it worse. The brunt of it only lasted a week, but growing up with them, and by observing my own behavior, I noticed a lasting effect of that conversation, like everyone was a little more willing to seek out trauma. Trauma is not something one should stimulate purposefully. I support accepting challenges, but one should never seek out becoming a victim. But I shift my focus from one to you when I say that If your challenge overtakes you, stay positive. If you find that you have an opportunity to make yourself the victim somehow, it’s really a chance to make yourself the opposite, that’s the healthy way to approach things, that’s everyone’s goal, and it’s okay that it’s difficult because the only people who can see it are those who are already past it. Your problems can only hurt you if you let them, and if you do let them or if it’s not in your control, you still can get to the bottom of why that’s happening, and use your brain to approach your imposing problems. There are really very few things that you should allow yourself to become upset over, once you’re an adult. I will give you an example in a later entry of why a mature level of inner peace is of grave importance to anyone hoping to achieve any psychic prowess, if my experience carries any weight.
After all my talk about trauma, I should at least mention that I’ve suffered through a lot. To state it as clearly as possible, I was not a happy child, but the atmosphere could have been much worse. I had 3 major traumas back then, but if I spelled them out for you I think I’d be missing the point, because I’d be making villains out of people who don’t exist as they did back then. I’d just be making myself the victim and complicating the lives of people I know learned their lessons. Together though, those events gave me an occasional tremor with complicated triggers, and a noticeably heightened level of nervousness. I did not deserve what I got, but I’m still standing, and I do not accept the energy they directed at me as part of what I am. We all need to learn that we are above what happens to us. Those traumas, however, are a major reason I withdrew as a child, and focused on a more internal path to understand that which people don’t like to think about. I was under the impression I wouldn’t make it to age 20, because it was a throwaway life to me for a long time. It’s always taken me a long time to fall asleep, always being vexed by some pain, and through that problem, I learned a lot about existing just within ones own head. I would lie so still that I would lose reference to the size of my body, or the sheer distance between my hands and my head on my pillow, and meticulously examine all feelings and sensations down to the feelings we are so accustomed to we don’t notice them. I’d hear every creak and click and air pressure change in the silence of the house, the frogs outside, the cars on the roads, the dogs in the distance. Sometimes I would try to focus on as much of it as I could at once. Meditation is something that I couldn’t avoid, not something I particularly like to do. It took several years and the love of a good woman before I was able to change my outlook on a more permanent basis, and sleep came easier, although I shouldn’t have needed love to be comfortable existing. Love took me a step further than comfort, and I contribute all forms of my success to love, it’s truly is a supernaturally powerful force that definitely makes strange things happen.
My first confirmed psychic event was actually in the Third Grade. I had been through some traumas by this point, and existing was already difficult, but on this day, on the bus heading home, I had resolved that when I got there I would finally call up a girl I was into at the time and express some feelings. For some background, I was a talented kid who was open with his weaknesses, so enemies accumulated quickly, and this girl was the only person who didn’t jump on that bandwagon, and even defended me on occasion. I was thinking about her when I stepped off the bus that day, and when my foot hit the ground, I stopped in shock: My dog was dead. I just knew it. It’s not like he greeted me at the bus every day and he just wasn’t there, but I knew it for some reason, and just took off for home, running. I found out it was true, he was gone. I was trying not to think about what happened, so I kind of went into autopilot and went through with my plan to call her, but after that day things were never the same between us, I scared her when I foolishly brought it up. Myself too. Unfortunately, there was no reversing the effects of that day. It messed with my sense of certainty a little too early, and she was never again able to be around me without being afraid. I was hopelessly in love with that girl from when I was 7 to age 14. The whole focus of this blog is that we are all capable of so much more than we know, but you will see later how this particular story arc shows there are some fights you can’t win. I would like to say I blocked it out, but it was always there in my memories, and it more than sparked a curiosity in me going forward. Why did I get to know about my dog’s death before I should have? Where did the information come from? The future? An alternate reality? How many possibilities are there?
What kind of name is “The Vocanic Weird” anyways? I had to come up with some words to make classifying things in conversation easier. For example, I needed a word to represent what type of thing mindreading is. It’s looked at as a purely psychic function, and mainly that’s how I verbally approach it to save time, but considering the stories coming up in these writings, the underlying conclusion I have come to is that there are more energies involved, like divine energy, or even elemental energy. I theorize that all of those “schools of magic” involve manipulating the same core pattern. If there is a pre-existing word for this I will yield to it, but I chose to use the pseudonym that I used during my research in 2007, “Vocane.” It’s not narcissistic to sign your work, and of all the possible names I came up with for my writings, “The Vocanic Weird” was the most personal and sounded the best. The nickname was actually coined by one of the subjects I successfully read, aptly named Nick. I was using a cumbersome pseudonym at the time and he boiled it down for me into something interesting. We’ll get back to him, but the other term I want to share defines what I’m trying to help people to achieve: Psychovisual Stimulation. This is what I call the art of mentally stimulating imagery to appear with ones eyes closed. Most people can already do this on some level, but I have my best strategies to get people started in later entries. It might be something you have to work at, and it’s why a little background in meditation is important. When you get to a state where you can actually watch your thoughts go by, without particularly making them happen, you’re at least on the right track to handing the wheel over to your subconsciousness. I had some more terms, but not everything made it onto paper, or even turned out to be necessary. When I have really high-concept breakthroughs, they often happen between asleep and awake, and it might take years for my conscious self to remember those moments, because on some level it takes me that long to grasp it. To this day I know there are more helpful terms I use to label large concepts in that state that I haven’t even pulled out yet. I know that’s easy for me to say, but I’m foreshadowing something important.
Throughout these writings, I am going to approach some elements of quantum physics. I won’t be going beyond the basics, but Entanglement is a quantum concept that requires a triple-take at first, being popularized by the aptly named film, “What the Bleep do we know.” Merriam-Webster.com defines quantum entanglement as: “A property of a set of subatomic particles whereby a quantum characteristic (such as spin or momentum) of one particle is directly and immediately correlated with the equivalent characteristic of the others regardless of separation in space.” To put it simply, if two particles are entangled, and you take one to the other end of the universe, and make one vibrate, the other particle will vibrate, instantly. The important takeaway is that there is information travelling so fast through an unseen channel that it’s more-so teleporting than moving. Somewhere, in some way, information can travel so much faster than light, that it kindof proves it’s not actually moving at all. It’s somehow just there. Every one of us is entangled in the mind, and we are going to trick your brain into using that. There are ways to picture this concept, but it seems unnecessary, I’m pretty sure it’s just a fact that makes it work. I don’t want to give you the impression that you’re not feeling some hidden connection you’re supposed to be feeling. I’m pretty sure that’s just a bonus after you see the proof for yourself that the connection has always been there.
My first social mind-read was strange. I had recently had that strange event in which a specific thought seemed to connect the rest of the thoughts in my head in one massive overload, perhaps some kind of mini-stroke, but no evidence was found. I was with some friends, we’ll just call them Dylan and Jake, and a third I don’t recall, who was sober. We other 3 were drinking, and I was talking about my shift in confidence after that event. I remember it so clearly, I looked to Dylan and said: “…I’m feeling so confident, I bet I can read your mind.” I don’t know why I said that, specifically. Dylan squinted and tilted back and to the side and replied, “Oh yeah… Try it.” He closed his eyes, I closed mine, and I actually saw something, like a flash. I said, “You’re thinking of an arc, like an arc of electricity.” He confirmed in disbelief, and we tried again. Then it was a boombox, then a shoe, and I lost him. I gotta say it was a hard event to deal with. I didn’t know if they were messing with me or if I actually did what I thought I did with such ease. I had no real reason to think it was something I can do. Attempting it was the crazy thing, but it prompted a journey to understand what was going on. Like I previously stated, I have spent a lot of time focused inward, and I feel my intelligence lies in a greater clarity of inward focus, and I’ll be bringing up several examples to support that, and with that talent in mind, I felt that if anyone could figure out what was going on, it was me. If I could find my adrenaline glands and move my pinky toe by itself, I should be able to feel out why I could see pictures that other people were thinking of. I’ll never know if I dove into finding the solution because I thought it was the right thing to do, or if it was greed, or if it was an old resurfaced habit wherein I treated my time like it was worthless, so why do anything for myself, the world needed to know and sharing it was going to destroy me. It truly is a challenge to keep your mind in the right place when it gets shaken up so, but I suspect it will be easier for anybody who isn’t the first.
Shortly after I discovered my mind-reading talent, I went to a local gaming center where many of my friends would gather, and I shared my story and was met with mixed feelings. But something happened that day. In the sky. A sigil of the Eye of Rah, with the sun shining through the pupil. We weren’t all outside, there was Pat and Danielle, and the rest I can’t recall or be sure about, but there were 12 outside besides myself. Pat snapped a photo that would eventually get deleted before I could get my hands on it, but photos were taken. He passed away last year. Not many of us kept watching, but I did. The sky over Duluth went through a subtle transformation over those 90 seconds. The eye went from the standard sigil, into a feminine version, and then into a formation familiar only to myself. It was a bearded dragon eye. I know because I had just adopted one from an anonymous lady two days before, and she had named him Rah. Over those 90 seconds, every other cloud in the sky formed a simpler eye shape. Then it was over and it all dissipated. Was something trying to get my attention? Normally I would avoid the narcissism of questioning something like that, but it felt personal enough to need to ask. I spent a lot of time trying to “decipher” this one, and I think I finally did it, but I’m not sure it translates well. Basically “male knowledge,” “female knowledge,” and “animal knowledge,” but if you turn it into a pictorial equation, it starts looking like something that will come up later. An odd detail I often forget, I found my 8-leaf-clover in that woman’s yard.
My first confirmed remote viewing was between me and the individual I’m calling Jake. He had been uniquely supportive in acting as my Guinea-Pig in my psychic experiments. I trusted him to be honest with me, and he helped put things in perspective when I bounced my new ideas off of him. I owe this man most of my progress, because he helped me to bring my mind forward to this whole stepping off point. He led me to most of the information, scientific, psychological, physiological and spiritual, that got me deep enough into reality to combine it into a simple process, so my connection to this individual was stronger then most. It happened like this: I sat down at home on my couch, closed my eyes, and in a flash saw Jake, like I was standing behind him, and he was being shaken violently by a blonde lady. I called him on the phone, heard yelling in the background while someone told me he was busy and to call back in 10 minutes, so I did, and was then told he didn’t live there anymore. I found him at the gaming center, and in front of everyone asked if I saw what I saw, and they confirmed it. I later confirmed it with his girlfriends mother also, when I met her in the gas station and recognized her and asked her about the event, she was pretty freaked out. Take this story with an additional friendly warning though, falling to sleep isn’t as easy when what you see with your eyes closed might actually be happening. This happens way more than I let on.
I would like to point out the seriousness of what we’re dealing with here. We are talking about paradigm-shifting information. Connectivity of the human mind and spirit. I don’t want to give rules but intention is so important, mainly because your subconscious holds most of the psychic steering wheel at any given moment. You still don’t have the right to invade people’s mental privacy without permission, but the responsibilities that come with this information run deeper than that. If you don’t think you should be doing something, your subconscious probably wont even let you, but it might just to punish you if it’s in your hidden thoughts, and the dark side is the light side just off the rails now. But I urge you not to even try any invasive practices or project harmful intentions. You shouldn’t want information you shouldn’t have, and it might backfire. Why should you believe me? Because before I knew I had a responsibility to think positively, I literally wished my older brother, once my abuser, into a wheelchair from 800 miles away in Texas. He was in the hospital 2 hours later and would never walk again, and I took steps to better manage the direction my thoughts take. I lost control. It was pathetic and weak of me to say out loud, and I may never forgive myself, but now I live like “God can see my thoughts” and it’s absolutely necessary to the stability of the psychic process, but the goal there is to have control over your own thoughts without the concept of a god looming over you. I can’t share the whole story like this AND make you like me.
Right now I’m going to share an experiment to build your faith in what I call your psychic focal point, and hopefully keep you reading while I build up to the good stuff. I don’t want to reveal the goal yet, so just bear with me: Sit in a chair, it doesn’t have to be quiet, but it might help. I want you to focus on your right knee for about 30 seconds and abruptly refocus on your left knee for 30 more, and back again, until you feel like you can feel a sensation form and dissipate respectively. That is your psychic focal point. You found it. You can even manipulate it. Whether it’s blood rushing or energy swirling (it’s sort of in with Schrodinger’s cat right now), your brain focusing there is causing that sensation. I cant be sure if this is part of the final equation, but it is a perfect example of the kind of thoughts you want to approach these concepts with. I can only use this as a hint on how your psychic focus feels when projected onto/within your own body. You need to believe you can place it into external spaces as well or you might hit a wall in your visualization technique. Compared to what you’d expect, I’ve found you don’t need much more than somebody actually telling you mind-reading is a possible thing you can do, but this is one of those variables I kept in mind because it might be one of those things I’m doing right.
Another friend I owe much of my success to is someone I’ll just call Dan. He was a key component on my road to believing in myself. He wouldn’t let me doubt myself and step back from what I’ve already established to be true, and he was supportive in that I had no reason to think I was crazy. I tried something that shouldn’t have worked, but it did, so I had a responsibility to find out why. He was one of those people who pushed me to keep a clear head no matter what was going on, and if I experienced any success with this stuff, that probably had something to do with it. He connected me to a few events where I could just walk around and anonymously practice, and I had some of my best reads in front of strangers. Once I went with Dan and someone I’ll just call Shane to help Shane get some of his stuff from an ex-girlfriend’s place. There were a few people there I didn’t know, the ex, and some guys at a table. Dan introduced me, “This is Joe, he’s psychic, check this out, think of a picture.” I forget what the picture was, but I got it correct, and the next guy wanted to try. When I closed my eyes for the read, I caught a glimpse of a rainbow pulsing triangle with drooping corners, the most vivid thing I’ve ever seen in my own mind, and as I opened my eyes, he suddenly lurched in pain, leaning back in his chair with his hand over his eye, and shouted, “You stabbed me with my triangle!” From what I gather, he might have experienced some sort of vertigo in his mind’s eye, but I still can’t fully explain the incident. We each had our own quiet panic attacks, and Dan calmed us down. That was the only time anyone ever accused me of that, possibly because I try not to imagine motion during reads anymore, who knows, but somewhere down this road might be control of a long-lost psychic vertigo attack, or maybe I had nothing to do with his reaction. I may never nail that down.
It was probably 2013 when one day, suddenly and out of nowhere I invited my sister to the zoo with me. I had been trying to ignore the events of ’07 for a couple years at that point, to no avail, and I think I just needed the distraction. We walked around the zoo like usual, saw the new baby lemurs, until we reached the petting zoo, and stopped. I looked off to the right at a rocky area that eventually dropped off to a stone-valley, guiding the river. I suddenly had a flash of what looked like a small Noah’s ark, on the rocks to the right of the petting zoo. My visions look very similar to other events I wasn’t able to narrow down as anything but imagination, but there’s a common trait that was present here. I see metallic transparent shimmers that are fluid and disappear quickly. It was so quick that I attributed it to my imagination. I paused, and stopped my sister with the question, “What kind of spark do you think it actually took to get Noah to build that ark?” We lingered as we talked for a while and walked on. A week later to the day, the petting zoo was flooded and all the animals that lived in it died. That was it. That was the spark, and I missed it. I had a chance to sit down like a nut, build an arc and save those precious creatures, and shock the whole world, and I kept walking. This won’t be my last reference to that flood.
The “Double Slit Experiment” is another piece of quantum-physics, and I’m going to share it with you to widen your eyes in preparation for the final reveal. Also known as “Young’s Experiment,” Merriam-Webster.com defines it as: “An experiment in which light diverging from one slit passes two narrow slits very close together and then falls on a screen so that a series of parallel bands are observed on the screen because of interference of light from the two slits.” This definition is lacking in specificity. The implications of that definition is that waves of light can act like particles, but although that is a big deal, it’s not the important part. When matter is fired through two slits, it leaves two bands on the back wall, but waves hit each other on the way out and create an interference pattern of many bands. They slowed things down to one particle at a time an they continued to get that interference pattern of many bands that could only come from other light particles, that aren’t currently present. That means, long story short, 1 particle became a wave of potentiality, simultaneously going through just one slit, just the other, both and neither all at the same time, and it interacted with itself. They attempted to observe the slits so they could quantify which slits it was going through, and the particle went back to behaving as a particle instead of a wave. The act of observing changed the particles behavior, and this was a groundbreaking revelation of mind to science, because it shows some aspect of our being can collapse a wave function simply by observing it. The purest takeaway of this is that our minds really do affect the world around us. Believe it. I first learned about this while reviewing the work of Nessim Haramein.
I remember the first time I found a batch of 4-leaf Clovers. I had a job at a car wash in Duluth and I was on my way to work one sunny morning. I had recently been trying to convince my friends I wasn’t lying about my new psychic talent. The mind-readings didn’t work on everyone, and some it worked on wanted better physical proof. I was trudging along London Rd, trying to think of some clever way I could use my odd talents to do something that couldn’t possibly be a disguised mind-trick. My head was hanging low, and I saw nothing but pain in my future, until my eyes crossed over a patch of clovers… and they were everywhere. 4-leafers everywhere I looked, like I already knew where they were. I picked 32 before I got back on my way. I brought them back to my apartment that evening, excited that I had proof something real was going on, and showed my roommates Jake and Danielle. Their cat ate them before I could show anyone else, and people thought it was a fluke regardless, claiming I’ll never be able to do it again, so I did, again, and again, and again. I kept going, and the last year I counted was when I found 805 clovers in summer of 2016. So, 4-Leaf Clovers granted me access back into my own life. I still lost about half of my close friends before I got to that point, but I saw a more human future, and invented the fictional superhero character Cloverman. I would use this character, who is actually myself, to better analyze my perspective on certain topics. It’s also way easier walking around attributing the impossible stuff to a fictional character, it’s a good way to simulate a break in the pressure I guess, but at the end of the day I’m just me and my history is what it is. Don’t risk a split personality just to maintain ignorance on easily blocked out topics, you might not be able to fix what you might unknowingly suppress. I say that because I feel like I got lucky and things could have easily gone worse.
I will never be able to say I’m 100% certain that I know why I can find so many 4-Leafers, or think the way I think, or why my mind is so good with imagery, but like I said in an interview with Ed Newman, I strongly put forth the power of Love as a potential contributing factor, or at the very least, the confident energy that comes from it. In 2005 I fell deeply in love with a girl from Germany named Sarah. I found my second 4-leafer ever only a half-hour before I met her. When she agreed to marry me, I suddenly adopted the outlook of the luckiest man in the world, and even now she helps lift my smile. I really believed no one on Earth could have gotten luckier, and if you saw us together, we were so happy and the odds just kept working out for us, like the world was helping us along. It’s hard to describe what it was like to be with her, like there was glitter in the air. My mind never functioned better than when I was with her, like some huge pressure I had never been aware of was just gone. When the mind-reading came up it was hard for me to deal with, I said some stupid things while thinking out loud, and the psychic stuff scared her away. It was too radical and made her too uncomfortable. Joining the Army just for cheap European flights didn’t help her opinion of me either, and she’s never coming back, but I stand by the fact that, whether I like it or not her love either gave me these powers, whatever they are, or brought them out. I don’t like the strategy of just forgetting huge chunks of my life, when i do that I forget what I learned, and when i stood with her I was in my supreme form, so it’s been hard moving on. But there’s another side to this coin. I very much fear what I would be capable of if I found myself experiencing the same confidence after acquiring my paranormal skills. All I have had since I left her side is the confidence from the memory of being supremely confident, and I may even have developed a psychological cap on my confidence levels since then, in the form of avoiding things that make me feel better about myself, including psychic practices. And to restate my thesis in another form, these writings are about real magics, and I’d be remiss to omit that the magic of legend that can be shared between two people is real and it’s power is beyond comprehension.
I’m going to try and walk you through my mind-reading routine as one would observe it, using a specific reading as an example. I was sitting outside my apartment having a beer with a friend I’ll call Zach. He was asking me questions about my process, and we chit chatted about it a little and I suddenly said I think I’m ready to try. I cannot describe the terror I felt when reading cherished friends. The chance of losing them often made me shake. I brought my hands to my eyes to remove suggestion as a possible explanation, and I got right into my routine. “Ok. My eyes are covered so I can’t pick up on suggestion, and I’m gonna say the same thing I say to everybody else. I need you to think of an image with a silhouette I can recognize. If you have an auto response you always think of in these situations, please think of something else but it has to be random, otherwise it won’t be where I can see it. You got one?” “Yes,” he replies. “Umm..” I said, “I’m seeing like a downward angle, but it’s in front of something… This can’t be right, but I’m seeing a hairy elbow.” He said back to me, “Well you’re right Joe, I was thinking of my chin and beard.” I literally cried in relief.
I’ve experimented a lot with mind-states and mental exercises, and after a while I noticed I had come up with some of my own. We all know what it feels like to have somebody standing behind you, you can feel it spatially, and today we’re gonna try to stretch that to its limits. Memorize these instructions and follow: Go to where you sleep, and pick an object near your bed (A) and an object further away (B). For a second maybe note the distance between you or how it feels to hold in your hand. Now go to your bed and lie down. Rest your head on your pillow and close your eyes. Now we are going to get into advanced visualization. Feel your pillow beneath your head, try to sense it spatially. Try to feel its specific shape relative to your body. Maintain it. Now you can chose to do many things, because we are thinking 4-dimensionally, but I’ll just pick a direction, out. Without losing that spatial focus of your pillow, I want you to spatially feel the presence of item A from before, just like it was a person standing in a room. Get a good feel for it, and move on to item B while attempting to maintain focus on your pillow and item A. Take this as far as you can go, being as thorough as you feel comfortable, but I’ve seen legitimately shocking results from this exercise. If you take your time and really master this, you get to see your subconscious filling in blanks, and its an amazing experience. This exercise should strengthen your overall ability to sense paranormal changes around you. It gets certain neural connections used to firing.
#22. The Sky-Dance
I was sleeping one night in 2013 and had the most amazing dream. I was in my yard, picked up a lawn dart, and tossed it into the air. I followed it up with my eyes, but stopped when my eyes came upon a sky completely occupied by UFOs of all shapes and sizes. One of the styles that I saw looked like a jack (from the old game “jacks”) except it could somehow stop portions of itself and huck itself across the sky, another just like it was spinning while bobbing up and down. There were cigars and orbs and things like swords, and they all were just dancing, beautifully, and though they were mostly all different, their movement seemed gave me the impression of togetherness, like they were dancing to the same song. I noticed an Aztec temple floating among them in the sky, looking up at its flat stone bottom, and I was suddenly on it, looking down the side of the huge pyramid to see the planet beneath me. I cant remember anything else. But Ive always been under the impression I had some kind of conversation when I was there. I woke up and immediately told my brother everything. A year later, I saw it on the show “Ancient Aliens,” a 15th century German etching entitled “The Sky Dance.” No flying Aztec temple though.
I’m gonna define what I’m teaching you to look at the best I can, but there is an extradimensional place where everything is connected. It has a million names from various cultures, such as “the Human Collective Consciousness,” but my personal favorite choice of words is “the Akashic Record.” In the Akashic record, we are in full-on 4-Dimensional semi-nonsense. There, space is considered silly. There is no space between things, everything is all basically the same thing occupying the same existence, or at the very least connected or entangled. This is all easily researchable, but I’d like to be more specific about what I’m teaching you. It’s not a channel you just turn on, that’s why I’m prepping you with these concepts, but you won’t exactly be seeing anything when you get this all working. What I’m trying to train your brain to do, is literally to become confused, but here me out: You’re gonna be using 3 main concepts to visually confuse your brain, so that your subconscious attempts to use information it doesn’t have, so that it pulls corrective information from the Akashic record.
In winter of 2013 I was visiting one of my oldest friends, Adam. Way back in first grade we couldn’t be more opposite, a hellacious form of walking rage and destruction, and me, the kid who wanted to be a saint when he grew up. We caught up for a while, and I remember telling him all about my psychic experiences and my Cloverman Superhero character. He put on a movie for me (“Altered”) and went in the kitchen. I remember sitting in that brown chair looking around the house. Adam had told me it was over 100 years old and had a dirt basement. It was getting late, and I was starting to sense motion where there wasn’t any, thought I was just tired, but then I managed to catch my eye up to it: There was an orb zipping around the room. It wasn’t a fly, I had just enough time to figure that out, because Adams cat was also walking into the room. The orb looked like a golf ball zipping around a wall of water, half submerged, yet it popped like a magic eye picture, almost like it was on the surface of my eye, and I treated it as such, until the orb hesitated in the air for a moment, and dropped down, and dropped again with a bob as it seemed to take a little shot at the cats nose. The cats eyes followed it until it whizzed down and then up past the cats face, and the cat jumped 4 feet in the air trying to catch it and the orb disappeared, like it vertically submerged. The cat was only a few steps ahead of Adam, who saw the backflip, but he missed the orb. We talked about it a while and I followed him into the kitchen, but something wasn’t right.
When I walked into Adams kitchen something was different than before. When I got there, dirty dishes pocked every surface, amidst trash and leftovers and various junk, but it was all gone. I looked up and noticed his girlfriend in the room, and just like that he started hitting her. For no reason at all. She was screaming, and then I noticed it. The one thing on any surface in the whole kitchen. A butcher knife. Next to me. He hit her again. And I flashed back to when he became the first person to say he respected me, and it all came together. This was a suicide. I wasn’t gonna be part of it. I’m not proud of leaving that girl but I turned and left, told the neighbor outside to call the cops, and flagged down a squad-car myself. If I’d have touched that knife, I’d have killed him. From what I understand he had a huge turnaround after that, but I wanna bring up how bad it looks to leave the girl, and I get that, but this would have been like their 100th violent incident and she keeps going back to him, and there’s a point when you have to butt out and let the universe be as messed up as it is.
One of the main concepts I used to see into the psychic world, that I’m gonna try to teach you is something I call “the Anthill experiment.” As much as I’d like to formulate riddles and have fun with this, I need to keep this simple. Find an active anthill. When you focus on one ant, you can see what it’s doing, but the world around it looks like utter chaos. When you look at the anthill as a whole, you lose those specific details of that one ant, but gain things like a sense of uniform speed, general flows of movement, and harmonies are revealed, but something more important is going on: when an ant breaks the pattern here, you’re probably not gonna miss it, it will stick out like a sore thumb. This is how you need to look at the backs of your eyelids. This is very important, because this how you detect anomalies during the psychic process.
We’re going to talk about power. It’s the elephant in the room. I want to point out that making your quest about power will likely cause your subconscious to cancel out any data you could observe anyways, and you’re left with just your imagination to confuse you. Power is something you want to minimize as much as possible. The overall goal here should be self-control, but your power will be made known to you in many ways, including the amount of people who feel it necessary to subvert you. At one of my jobs, I made a particularly loud splash, so-to-speak, and I thought everything was working out well there, but I never accumulated so many nemeses so quickly in my life. Every male who considered themselves an alpha made way too much effort to make me into something pathetic. When people find out you can do what they can’t, it invites challenge and escalation. I had an ex-roommate who took Cloverman as an alter ego and made a bid at getting into my life as a villain figure, thinking he might make a reputation for himself by threatening me and I refused to follow his set-up, so I did what was necessary to avoid playing into it. Great care and compartmentalized secrecy in your practices is of greatest importance.
It was August of 2015. My mother, my father, and my niece and 2 nephews were at a Island Lake near Duluth, MN. They had taken the boat out to what we call “Boy Scout Island.” They were just hanging around in this little bay hidden from the mainland shore, when my oldest nephew spotted a reflective orb in the sky. My mother took several pictures but nobody noticed it disappearing. The photos showed mostly glare, but it was clearly a large round solid flying object. I was in film school at the time and had access to several filters I could use to investigate, so I made a pet project out of it. The few curve lines I was able to pull forward revealed a craft unlike anything I’d ever come across, and as a UFO enthusiast, I’ve seen a lot. I sketched it out and realized I might be seeing something new, so I decided to take my shot at giving it a name. My drawing was sitting on a newspaper covered with clothing ads, and I noticed a similarity in shape with the topside of the craft to a common pair of women’s underwear, so I called it “The Sexy Boombox.” A year later, while surfing the internet, I stumbled upon a video with a familiar thumbnail. The portion of video the thumbnail was taken from no longer exists, it had been edited out, but the thumbnail image remained. It was the ship from my mothers photograph, with a level of detail I never thought I’d be lucky enough to see. I got photographic confirmation that the details I pulled from my mothers photos belong to a real object. Since then, the link to the video that they accidentally left the original thumbnail on has gone dead as of 2018, but it remained up for several years before that.
One of the three major concepts you will need to learn to apply is hidden in a common illusion exercise you’ve probably been aware of since grade school. The exercise is simple: If there are two dots on a paper with a significant separation, something interesting happens after continued focus on a single dot. The other dot seems to disappear. This happens because we have areas around the outer limits of our vision where the nerve endings are fewer in number, and our subconscious uses it’s predictive powers to fill in those spaces with little or no real input. Creating more neural connections involving these areas is crucial to the perception of psychic phenomena. There is a reason a lot of ghost stories start from the “corner of the eye,” but getting back to our illusion exercise, we are going to try to take it one step further. I have come to find that with enough meditation on this mechanism, you can apply that function from the outside in, basically erasing all of what you see with its own negative, and you’re left with the abstract mindscape. It requires both stillness of the eye and stillness of the mind, but this is another one of those things you might want to practice getting good at if you intend to master mind-reading of imagery.
Psychic phenomenon is born from deep vibrations and spiritual connections, so I’ve found it to be as much of a divine function as it is a psychic function. There are many people with miraculous stories that strengthened their connection to the spiritual, and I’d like to share one of my own. I was on a hike along local river with a friend I’ll call Raccoon. We were hunting for colorful local rocks called agates in the shallows of the river. I had a habit of finding very little compared to my friend, and he would come back with so many we could usually have a good laugh at the imbalance. It got old, though, and looking back I find myself asking who am I to want, but I appreciated his skill. He came over to me with an armload of them that day, and in a flash of frustration I looked up toward the sky saying, “God, why cant I find a big agate…” I was in the process of looking back down when I saw it, and without breaking my rhythm I was able to add, “like THAT one.” There it was, embedded into the rocks just a foot behind Raccoon. An agate the size of a baseball. An agate specialist looked at it to find the best place to have it cut, and found a line already tracing the path he found to be the best place to cut it, seemingly scratched into the rock. He remarked how he had never seen an agate that told you exactly where to cut it. What astonished me was what we found inside it. An image matching a painting I was planning to represent the connection of student and teacher, like 2 teardrops connected by an arch at the top. I never made the painting, the stone was enough for me. Oddly enough, this stone accidentally fell into a purse and made its own trip around the world to get back to me, thanks to some wonderful people, and that’s why I call it the travelling stone, and how I was really convinced there’s a higher power out there.
We are dealing with one of the most socially risky topics in the world, psychic and paranormal phenomena. It is very far outside of what is considered normal, and nothing showed me the weight of my work like some of the reactions I got from some of my mind-reading subjects. I’ve seen lots of people get excited in many ways, a couple panic attacks, one person felt sick afterward, but what bothered me is the people who would have an amazing read and pull a 360 degree turn as soon as the peers showed up. The case that sticks out in my mind was with a friend of mine, I’ve referred to him before as Nick. I successfully read him one day, he was thinking of a chalice, and he had an existential moment right in front of me. He was so amazed that it all could be a simple case of “nobody told you that you could.” Anyways, the friends showed up, and it’s like it didn’t happen. That was disappointing, but this is a topic where instinct can take over, and it’s about their own personal struggles, it’s no reflection of you, or the relationship between the two of you. You cannot judge people on how well they handle it, they still have plenty of time to come to terms. Some people are actually, in a way, emotionally counting on it not being true. I heard an amusing theory that I wouldn’t doubt, stating if an alien beamed down and slapped you across the face and beamed away, you probably would barely notice it. I heard this concept taken further steps in a story about the natives being unable to see the ships of Columbus approaching, it seemed impossible to verify, but I do believe in the psychological mechanism that causes this.
Before, I mentioned the flood that hit my area in 2013. It was quite devastating, but if you watched it all unfold as it was happening from my eyes, you would have been as curious as I was whether it was all part of a disagreement between myself and the universe or just coincidental weather, but the story begins a long time ago. That girl I called the day I came home to have my first psychic flash. We’ll call her Angel. I could spend time telling stories of how hard God seemed to want to keep me from her, though I never figured why, but it seemed the universe wasn’t supportive like it was between the German girl Sarah and I, more like the exact opposite, but it all took me so long to pick up on. There are so many weird hilarious stories of ridiculous odds and deep social pains, but I’m choosing this anecdote as my example to share, it is the finale after all. Angel was my unsuccessful focus for a good 7 years of my life before I was able to move on, but then I met the German girl, then 2007 came around and I lost her, and a few years later found out Angel had been singing locally. I picked up Angel’s album, and found out she had a show coming up, but a song about a guy in a leather jacket intrigued me because I used to wear one in school. I couldn’t make my mind up about going to her show, so one day I went to an old shoreline I liked to walk by the old cabin up at Boulder Lake. It’s a very spiritual place to me, I had several relatives who had their ashes spread there. It was around sunset, when I finally decided not to go, and I looked up, and catching the sun perfectly, only submerged at the bottom, was a glowing purple shell, like a prize from the universe for doing the right thing. The day of her show came, and it was raining, not much different from other rainy days, but I was deep in self-doubt about everything paranormal in my life and was set to challenge it, I guess I had changed my mind. Come back for the Conclusion!
On the day of Angel’s show, I heard someone at home mention possible flooding, so in a panic I got in my car and took off. I got to the end of my driveway, challenging God to take this from me all the way, and looked left to see the river flooded the road completely away. I told myself none of it means anything. I looked right, down past the T-intersection and saw the stream had flooded out that road as well. My blood boiled and I found myself frustrated. I told myself none of the weird stuff was real, it was all coincidence and I’m normal. I had one more possible road to take, but the same river flows underneath it about 100 feet from the corner, and I had to drive out to see if it was passable. I rounded the corner with a prophetic groan of expecting the worst, and felt a little hope just for a moment that this wasn’t another insane coincidental obstacle, because the road was only half gone. The left lane was still intact, but there was another detail that made my heart sink. The massive dump-truck dropped 4 or 5 yards of gravel, that’s a really big pile of gravel, right in the middle of the remaining lane, and just drove off. I sat in my car looking at the mountain in front of me and could feel the tension building, so I cleared my head and got to it. I came back with one of my dads spade shovels and moved that pile. I was all ready to blend in with the crowd and just listen to lyrics, but I didn’t make the connection until it was too late: I was the only one who showed up besides her parents. The songs were not about me.
It might not come as a surprise that my predisposition to paranormal topics might also explain my skill in the arts. My mother would say I was born an artistic prodigy, although my first drawings must have been worse than she lets on, however I did take advanced art classes at the Depot when I was 4 or 5, and was taking college level art courses through Art Instruction Schools by the tail end of my sophomore year in High school. My point is that I take my art seriously, and I try to treat my life like a large painting, and I try to maintain my ability to bring new experience into my work. It was 2008, and at this point my life had been eventful, and I was settling back into my life after a rough year that almost lost it all for me. I had learned a lot, and I thought my painting career needed something new. Despite the fact that I was intent on not feeding this topic anymore, I felt a responsibility to bring it into my artwork. I wanted to take it as close to the borderline of real magic as my mind was, and I had a surplus of 4-Leaf Clovers, so I got to work. In the end, the painting design I engineered functions as an active photo-suggestion machine, like an advertisement designed to enhance the overall impact of the 4-Leaf Clovers I use in them. Whatever effect 4-Leafers have on people, paranormal or scientific, I set out to make them stronger, using practical techniques, such as the channels of opposite colors trumpeting out from the center. This might be my crowning artistic achievement, although having a digital sketch on its way to the Moon on the Moon Arts Ark is debatably equal. That is supposed to go up with the Andy Rover next year.
There are parts of my psychic process that, although they are immediately teachable, will be of varying necessity to the different people out there. Specifically, I’m referring to the parts where we are trying to trick our subconscious into pulling in information from what I’ve referred to as the Akashic Record, when no other information is present. An example would be when we look at the blackness behind our eyelids as the darkness and its negative fight for dominance (like in the colored dot experiment), watching for details to branch out from these points. If you have trouble with the process, I have some informative advice, put some time into this. Practicing will train your brain to expect more details and your subconscious should follow suit to varying degrees, but we are more than practicing, we are in the realm of changing our brains. In a book called “The Holographic Universe,” it tells of an experiment where a subject wore goggles that flipped his image upside-down. After about 3 weeks, he was able to see right-side-up while wearing those goggles. This experiment speaks to the brains power to adapt to its task, but more importantly it shows it can take the brain 3 or more weeks of intense focus to make changes to itself. In those situations, we aren’t specifically telling our brains to rewire itself in this way, yet the brain works towards these tasks on it’s own, through our purest level of will. This will take you time, in any case, and when you try to change your brain, you won’t have the benefit of image flipping goggles to keep you focused.
4-Leaf Clovers have become a way bigger part of my life than I ever expected. I’m proud of my stats, I found 805 in one summer, and I found an 8-leafer once. But the part you might find more odd than the skill, is how every year I feel compelled to chuck my extra 4-leafers off Enger Tower, a local landmark of high elevation. It’s my way of helping the world without prejudice. One story that I like to look back on happened around 2015 on a beautiful but windy day. I was walking up the path to the tower with my coffee-can full of 77 4-leaf clovers, and I noticed a lot going on in and around the Tower ahead of me. I was halfway up when I came upon a couple adults and several children on their way down the path, and one of the adults asked what I had in the can. “4-Leaf Clovers, actually… 77 of them. Check it out!” I opened the can and he leaned over with a “Holy Shit,” and he called over the other adult, and that got the attention of the children. They all wanted to see, so I gave out a few to the kids, and I said, “Now Ima go chuck the rest off this tower.” So there I was, with this crowd behind me, and it was getting bigger. Children were calling to each other to come see, adults were explaining what’s happening to each other and the children, and I was still passing out clovers. On the way up the tower, I learned the crowd belonged to a wedding party, and at the top it was very crowded, the adults were stepping back so their children could see, and they were all together by the edge, so we counted down and I chucked them out into the wind. They caught a small gust a few feet out and crashed into a body of air that spread them out beautifully, and the wind carried them off. As the clovers left the coffee can, all the children spread out further and stood on tip-toes as they all tried to get that perfect view over the edge. I noticed how focused they were on trying to see the clovers fade away, so I turned and headed down the stairs before they could notice me, and just after I made it out of sight, I could hear them asking, “Where’d he go? He vanished!”
We all know about the profound effects the mind can have over the body, and we are going to do an experiment to show another aspect of 4-dimensional thought. We are going to use one of my visualization techniques for more effective poops. That’s right. It’s not graphic, it’s just the best example of mental ingenuity I can think of, and these kinds of concepts will help you engineer your own to deal with your own obstacles. To begin, I wanna point out how clearly we can all feel parts of our person like our mouths and throats. We can feel food in our mouths and we feel ourselves swallow it, but then it’s like it fades into the white noise of our insides. It hits the stomach, and later it even becomes a zig-zagging tangled mess even the most attentive and self-aware minds would have difficulty feeling out. If you think 4 dimensionally though, none of that matters. Exact form is relative in the 4th dimension. When you get to a difficult point in your bathroom visit, you can follow this guide to use suggestive visualization to speed things along. First, swallow. You feel that contraction travelling down your throat? As your perception of it fades into the white noise of your body, picture your throat and entire gastric system is one long tube going straight down, and picture and attempt to project that contraction down the entire length of that tube, this should help to kickstart your system. That is one of my best examples of thinking 4-dimensionally.
I’d like to share a story with you, because one thing I’m trying to do is to keep everybody informed on what I’ve found to be real. It was 2016. I had recently had the amazing opportunity to analyze photos of a UFO that my mother took on a family outing. At this point, I was driving home from Willow River after my first glamor photoshoot with a girl I knew. I was driving home that evening, around 9:30, down I-35 toward Duluth, and the weather wasn’t perfect. It was snowing lightly, and the sky had this purplish gold glow of solid cloud-cover with zero detail. There were plenty of cars on the road, but not the best surface-conditions, and I looked down the stretch of highway in front of me. I took note that I had been passing a lot of water towers. Around 9:40, something caught my attention over the highway, way down the road: 3 piercing yellow lights were going off, 1 at a time, as if they were part of a larger spinning object. Each light only stayed about a second, but just before the first one went out, the next one was turning on. If the road in front of me was the base of a “T”, this object was large enough to proportionately form the top line. My mind started racing as I realized these are the same lights I had been seeing through the trees and dismissing as water-towers. This was at least the 3rd time I had seen these same lights through the trees since I started home from Willow River.
As I continued driving down the freeway that night, the lights kept showing up, every appearance being equally brief, separated by 10 or 12 minutes. Looking back I feel like can only guarantee I saw it 9 times. I had been trying to catch pictures, but even having my phone ready in my hand (dangerous driving) I wasn’t fast enough to snap a picture once I saw it. I have plenty of videos looking at nothing with me cursing in the background having just missed it, but I never caught a photo. I did, however, stop on the side of the highway for a while with my camera ready, and I eventually realized we had both been moving at a speed of around 80 miles-per-hour, and thusly gave up and got in my car, confident It was now so far ahead of me that I’d never see it again, but that was only it’s seventh appearance. That gave me an implication that it stopped when I did, for whatever reason. The last time I saw it, I was rounding the bend into Duluth as the Aerial Lift Bridge had just come into view, and it did it’s brief light show like a pinwheel in the sky and disappeared again. I found it is a common local sighting to have around here, even the girl in Willow River told me she had seen it, and I believe her, because she already knew it alternated sides of the highway before I told anyone. She also happened to be my first student and therefor the first to get my psychic process to work for herself. But, the implications of the craft I saw that night are staggering. Could this craft frequent this route so often because it may, in effect, live here? I never found anyone else who saw it the same night I did, but that night was an insight into possibility. The large triangular crafts they call “Big Black Deltas” exist.
40. New Orgasm Discovered: The Irk-Gasm
I put a lot of emphasis on my ability to notice things. There aren’t many things I can bring to the table (that I feel I can bring up) that would convince people that my mind is uniquely suited to notice the things others don’t, besides that Alice in Wonderland riddle, but there is another thing a little more grounded than 4-leaf clovers or mind-reading that I noticed. Currently, science recognizes 7 types of male orgasms, but during one of my relationships, I experienced an 8th. I’m certain I’m not the first to experience it, but I am the first to recognize and write down what it is and how it’s done, and it is very different from anything known, and much more intense. Most people would just call it a really unbelievable orgasm they had. I really hate thinking about this one, weighing the importance of TMI and sexual science alongside the stress of being that guy, but I noticed it so I’m saying it. The 8th orgasm is a male orgasm, but the info is equally useful to both sexes. I call it the “Irk-Gasm.” You see, men have this spot we generally don’t talk about because it never really comes up. A few minutes into an erection, men develop this hypersensitive spot on the tip of the penis, and if stimulated correctly, one can overload that spot, and the sensation becomes strangely irksome, and we have to reflexively recoil. Flat palmed small circles work best, but as long as you know what spot you’re trying to get at, a partner can trigger it from many positions. If you’ve ever experienced some hypersensitivity just after sex, we’re probably thinking about the same thing, but that’s just a drop in the bucket until you learn how that sensation gets to where it is through basic friction. That sensation is what this orgasm is all about. The more you trigger it, it seems the more easily and broadly it can be triggered. It can turn sex into more of teasing experience. If you stimulate that reflexive reaction enough times during sex, the male enduring that sensation as far as he can, as many times as he can, it can accompany the orgasm, but it is no longer irksome, it’s remarkably transformed into something uncontrollably intense, because you still physically react to the overstimulation. It can cause truly spectacular spasms, and it will feel unlike any other experience. I should point out, it takes time and discipline to last as long as it takes to prep for this climax. Alternate between your standard sensations and occasionally break to see how much of that sensation you can take. Do this enough times and that sensation will trigger alongside your orgasm in it’s new form. The funny thing about it all is, I may have only happened upon the memory in which I had already experienced it thanks to the introspection I was forced through after that cloud experience with the Egyptian symbols. I wrote about it in an earlier post. It was as if this discovery could be something I was somehow pushed to notice or rediscover. There must be a female equivalent, so have fun with that.
I have mentioned drinking and parties in a couple tales, and I want to be clear in my stances on the topic of drugs, and this has become such a blanket term I have to break up my opinions on different items respectively, and I obviously can’t go forward without a few admissions about those years. I’ll start with Drinking. I’ve noticed differences under the influence of alcohol when I use my process, nothing I investigated deeply during that time, mostly it was a common courage booster. It didn’t take long before I noticed how easily I could have developed 2 big problems, a classic alcohol dependency, and a habitual correlation between my process and being drunk. Marijuana seems to add to the psychovisual destabilizations that my process works to achieve, but not enough to call for a change in your habits on its account, i.e. don’t start a marijuana habit just for this. The ones I was interested in seeing in effect were psychedelic mushrooms, LSD, and DMT. I did get eventually get to try them all. Wise people don’t usually take active notes on their illegal activities, especially when trust is an issue, but I was able to come up with opinions regarding my experiences with them, but that’s all they are, opinions. They really do seem to have an intense impact on the realms surrounding my process, but I can’t even stress how dangerous they can be. The one fact I can give, is that if you take mushrooms or DMT more than once a year, you’re brain probably won’t probe the experience deeply enough to advance off it. It will probably only probe things as deeply as it did your first time, and you wind up with a shallow understanding and a weak foundation. Maybe someday, someone will be able to focus on handling this branch of information responsibly, but It was forced from my focus.
#42. Oh The Spaces You’ll Go Part 1
Mind states are so important to psychic practice. Optimally, by now, you’ve spent some time in your own head looking around. Your visualization skills might not have the polish of years of practiced meditation, but somewhere down your mystical road you might find yourself picking up on different aesthetics, or fractal patters, or sensations of space. No matter what you experience, there is probably someone somewhere else who came across similar experiences. I’ve come to the conclusion that these are effectively extra-dimensional places where we just don’t know how to exist. A list could be made, but I’ve had the sensation this was the case in a number of states I reached with associated visualizations. The first being something I call “The Peg-Board Reality.” There isn’t much to say about it but this: You’re a peg, sticking out of white nothingness. Your only perception of self is the fact that you’re privy to a view looking straight down towards the white board of nothingness, a peg, in a perfect grid of pegs, your perspective revealing more and more of your adjacent pegs as they are located further away. That’s it. Nothing practical about it, but it was one of the clearest things I’ve seen with my eyes closed with an associated spatial feeling. I didn’t find anything of much good there, but I would yet luck out from my little dimensional walks into the unknown.
#43. Oh The Spaces You’ll Go Part 2
My personal favorite mind-state was something I could only describe as the mythical “El-Dorado.” It was a sensation of vertigo with a sensation of warm air and energy flowing up my body, with the most sensitive feeling of relaxation, every wave was an utter physical euphoria and it forced tears from my eyes. My visualizations showed an infinite structure of inconceivably thin archways of gold, they seemed to overlap each other in ways that didn’t make sense in 3-Dimensional space. Behind them, into infinity, was a beautiful background of the deepest blueish-purple. It all shimmered like they were showing two colors at the same time and the colors were fighting. As you can guess I keep trying to get back there. I feel like these types of mind-states could have practical applications in our human experiences. I say that with confidence because I made it work for me while working at a local grocery store, bagging groceries. When I would attempt to remember and replicate the vibrations of the El-dorado mind-state, I could achieve speeds and dexterities only achieved through more specifically repetitive movement. My arms moved like lightning and it was like my eyes didn’t have to focus on things because my mind was picking up every detail for me. It was strange to see because I wasn’t really moving like a normal person, more like an octopus, like my arms each had their own brains. It made one of our cashiers of lesser constitution sick to watch it. Perhaps in the future we will be able to use advanced thoughts as enhancement spells.
It was winter of 2007. I had an eventful year, and had seemed to accomplish the impossible in saving my social world as I knew it after coming out with an impossible, yet identity defining talent. My social circle had the proof they needed, and it seemed I could settle back into my life like business as usual. I was wrong. My co-researcher, Jake, had cultivated more hype among the crowd than I was comfortable with. My main friends and I were in our mid 20s, but there was a large number of younger people attaching to our group. Jake and I disagreed on what should be done with the data and that I should go on using it after I was finished with my quest for proof, and it seemed he was trying to gather potential students. The fact was, Jake had a habit of abusing power to the fullest. Our crowd, which was bigger than ever, now consisted of around 30 people. Too many of the younger ones seemed way too excited upon seeing my process in action, and I got the feeling something cult-like was forming under my nose. One referred to me as a “god,” another brought up the possibility of some connection to the second coming. These are dangerous words. I think they’re as ridiculous as anybody else should. I can’t accept these labels as long as I know that everyone is capable of the same things I can do. That gaming center became an environment my ego was not ready to handle at the time, and I recognized the then-current situation as dangerous. After all that effort, I still had to disappear. The Cult-Mentality is something that can happen just from doing something amazing and walking away. It doesn’t always form in front of you, you just show up one day and suddenly there’s this group asking you weird questions. Watch out for that.
We can’t control where we come from. We don’t get to stick our hands into the pool of time and rearrange things to avoid discomforting implications, and once my mother told me a story that would shift this issue to the forefront of my thoughts for a long time. When she was a little girl, she awoke to find a creature standing in her room. She was sharing this with me because on the TV there was a show about aliens, and they were showing a composite sketch of an alleged alien creature from an abduction case. My mother swore that the sketch was not just of the same race that visited her, but the very same individual. I’m not saying I’m an alien, but I would go as far as to say nothing would travel across the universe just to scare a little girl in her room, and that’s generally how we explain my strangeness in my family, that she was subject to some alteration that resulted in whatever is going on with me. I don’t personally like that this story is a thing to be considered. I put a lot of emphasis on the fact that I don’t consider myself to be any more capable than others, and even if the story were true it would not mean it had anything to do with me as I was born decades later. My talents could be attributed to shortcomings in my capabilities as easily as they could be attributed to alien alterations.
I would be remiss if I were to avoid addressing the major implications if people have as easy a time with my psychic process as I think they will, but there are two perspectives one can view this with. This could be a dark thing, causing chaos and drama, or it could be the key to the union of all souls and a more intellectually evolved future, or it’s no big deal. To simply put my process out there would be the definition of a neutral act, or a flip of the coin. All I can do is send it out with positive intentions. I don’t think it will ever replace the telephone, but if it’s as simple as I’m about to finally explain, perhaps it just shows we were supposed to discover this before we were supposed to discover the telephone, and maybe people will take what I’ve found and take the time to build on it accurately.
So the time has come for me to present everything I’ve tried to teach you in a coherent way. We’ve talked about all of the concepts necessary, and hopefully you’ve given your brain time to take in and adjust to these ideas, and given it some of your own thought. When it comes down to it, you will need to trust someone to be your subject. I feel like it would help if they were working towards the same end and learning the same things, but that’s something I can’t back up. Sit down with them and ask them to close their eyes and think of an image that you could recognize by the silhouette. Then ask that if they have a standard response for these situations, to please think of something randomly different, or it won’t be in a place where you can see it. Close your eyes, and try to spatially sense where your subject is. Try to put that psychic focal point we talked about right in their head. Try to reach a stillness in which you are looking at the backs of your eyelids, letting them kind of twitch as they do, but don’t consciously direct them. Try to zone out into the standard image of blackness, so that you can see it’s negative hovering over the original, cancelling it out in places. While staring broadly, like at the anthill opposed to the ant, watch for visual phenomena to stem from the corners of your eye. They may look like shimmers or lines moving strangely, or like objects made of energy submerged in water. If you aren’t seeing virtually anything at all, I would suggest waiting a couple hours and trying again, and if that does nothing, trying to ruminate over some of the earlier entries, but hopefully you’re doing better than that. Perhaps you need my last resort in describing what psychic phenomena looks like. This is not something I recommend if you already know what this is like, but if you stare straight forward, eyes open, and set the tip of your pointer finger on your upper eyelid, move it out to the side a little, and add a little pressure, the slightest pressure, it will create a strange anomaly on the opposite side of that eyeball. That anomaly is the most solid thing you can see that looks like psychic anomalies. It’s not any particular color and shape is equally hard to grasp. In the meantime, we are mid-psychic-process, so, hopefully you should be seeing something, and we can forget about poking your eyeball. If you think you see something and don’t understand it, don’t be afraid to ask the subject to maybe zoom in or out on their image or imagine themselves holding it, it’s led me to quite a few successful reads I thought I had failed at first. If you see specific detail, call them out as you see them, or stare for a minute and try to draw what you saw after the fact. You might get an image in jumbled pieces, or you might see too little to draw a conclusion, but just as all successes might have an observational influence, just because you don’t get the image right doesn’t always mean you failed making the connection or failed to receive the information you needed. This is where I experienced success, and took off with it, so I could pass it on. This is it. I just walked you to the spot in the mind where you can see psychic things happen. Once again, this is just my best explanation of what I did, and my best attempt to bring you all with me, over nothing else than the fact that I know I did something right. The funny thing is, none of these things I’ve told you seem to be rules set in stone. I used to think I couldn’t do it drunk but I could, I didn’t think I could do it with my eyes open but it has happened. There are times where I left out major steps for no other reason than I forgot to apply them. Nothing I brought to the table seemed to be a rule 100% of the time. There was only one variable that was present at every success and gone at every failure. Confidence. The rules and strategies just seemed to help me believe it so my brain could get there. Have confidence in yourself. I have confidence in you.
Hi! This is actually me this time, not something I wrote and scheduled 7 months ago. The Vocanic Weird was pre-written and scheduled, which is why it didn’t really reflect world events, but I say this because I have officially exhausted my biggest points. That’s right, all my best stuff has been posted. You will not be finding anything else as epic as a new type of orgasm, or mind-reading instructions, or divine intervention. Find all that on my Master Blog page. I’m going to try to keep posting though, there are some things that didn’t make the final cut, but I’ll try to continue to offer insight into my story. Off the top of my head, I plan to post on my history with cryptozoology, a reaction people sometimes have when they touch me, some anomalies with my mental boundaries, and possibly those traumas I said weren’t so important. Who knows. I’m hoping to be more actively involved with my blog in the future as well, the truth is I scheduled my blog because it was too difficult for me to do when the time comes, the topics have really come to scare me. If you’ve got your own opinions or comments though, maybe they’ll make it into future posts! For my followers, thanks for sticking with me through the ugly stuff. I support the peaceful black lives matter movement, and do not consider it a supremacist movement. However, I do consider Trumps America a white supremacist movement, he gave those groups a literal command, and I condemn racial supremacy. I also don’t believe racism is protected by political civility, so I hold people socially accountable for their belief in a white supremacist leader, and I’m not very nice about it. I really wanted to interrupt my posting schedule and post about it all at the times those points were more relevant, and I’ll elaborate soon, but what an ugly time in America. I think people would enjoy a reason to believe it’s a more interesting world, and see it like I see it, with weird twists of magic and space and divine entities and amazing creatures. Maybe my accounts can open up some minds to some possibilities, because all I’m trying to do is share whatever progress the evidence tells me I’ve made, if you can follow that. Thanks again, and I’ll keep posting, but don’t be surprised if I break the schedule a bit. Stay weird, but first, go out and vote!
I’ve always suspected there was something different about the way I perceive things, but it wasn’t until High school that I started noticing various senses working in unison, something called “synesthesia.” “Psychology Today” says Synesthesia is a neurological condition in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway (for example, hearing) leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway (such as vision). Simply put, when one sense is activated, another unrelated sense is activated at the same time. I can recall the first time I was able to experience synesthesia long enough for me to figure out what was happening. Me and some friends were hanging out in Jake’s old sauna (more of a hangout room than a sauna) and somehow the fact that I had never been kissed came up, and at one point, this girl that was with us just surprised me with a tongue kiss, but the strangest thing happened: I could see out of my mouth. It was so strange being able to effectively see her tongue with mine, wrestling in saliva. It was fascinating, and baffling at the same time. This still happens, and I really gotta be into a person to get myself to cross that line cuz there’s a chance I’ll see any number of things that could make me uncomfortable. Seeing through my mouth is not the only type of synesthesia I experience, though. I don’t know why I don’t do this more often, but I can see voices, and I used to draw them for people. I don’t know if it’s a consistent pattern every time I see it, or if it’s inspired by my own reactions, but there’s often some pattern that accompanies a voice as long as my eyes are closed when I hear it. It seems to come and go just like everything else. It’s hard to tell how many other ways I experience synesthesia, I know I see white when I hear a sudden noise at night when my eyes are closed, and it’s possible the feelings I have when I observe motion might have something to do with my clover hunting, but what I know for sure is that there are too many variables for little old me to know anything for sure without some heavy scientific equipment. Pay attention to your own senses and it may help you discover some strengths you never knew you had.
#50. Dreams That Break The Rules Part 1
So throughout my years I’ve lived among some people who had more than a passing interest in consciousness, and they introduced me to multiple areas of study, mostly surrounding the mystical side. One of the things we would talk about is dreams, and eventually I discovered many people believe there are a lot of unbreakable rules in dreams, and challenging these concepts are good ways to discover whether or not you are lucid dreaming. One that I once used myself, was the clock-face rule. Apparently you can’t read clocks in your dreams. The way it happened to me, I was dreaming I was in a house I knew my sister owned in the dream but the house wasn’t her real house. My family was running around though. I asked what year it was, they said it was two years later than I thought it was. Maybe it was the jet-lag I was suffering at the time, but I generally don’t lucid dream. This time, however, I caught the glimmer of a possibility that I might be dreaming, and I thought of the clock-face rule. I looked at a round clock face and it was like the glass was focusing the light down until the face was a small oblong mass in the lower right of the glass. I couldn’t read it. So I looked around, and saw the clock on the microwave. I could read one number at a time, but when I moved my sight to the next digit I could tell the first number changed. I couldn’t read it. And I woke up. Another one is to mess with a light switch. I remember this from a strange documentary-type film called “Waking Life.” Apparently, the mind can’t change environmental things like light levels in dreams. Flicking the switch will cause no change. Another common one is best described with your typical “falling” dream. You wake up just before you hit the ground, because (allegedly) you can’t die in your dreams. That’s the line that apparently get’s blurrier than normal in my mind. I’ll elaborate in part 2.
#51. Dreams That Break The Rules Part 2
I have to drop a trigger warning, This entry is about what’s basically a graphic suicide dream. It was the summer before the start of my junior year in High School. Shenanigans ensued and I lost my virginity to a girl I knew. As the summer was fading into fall, things between the two of us had gone sour. After feeling like I had gotten over it, I was sleeping one night in the camper that was basically my room at the time. I was dreaming of a small log cabin in a forest with very little underbrush, and many tree trunks shooting up all around. I was standing by a large woodpile, stacked between two of the trees, and there was a shotgun sitting across the top. I looked up and saw her, standing there by the cabin door, holding a newborn child. The attitude wasn’t sad or dark, but I looked at her and said, “If I gotta I gotta…” It was as if I dropped in on a scene in progress, and I simply grabbed the shotgun, put the end in my mouth and fired. I remember feeling the force of it in an instant, the top of my head was gone, evident by the feeling of the air moving through the gaping hole. I slumped to the ground, and was seeing from up through the hole. She was standing there, the same content expression, and the child wasn’t even fussing. I laid there twitching, as she faded into red. From what I understand, I wasn’t supposed to get this far, I was supposed to wake up as I fired. Not to mention the psychological implications of the dream, I had to take a real hard look at myself and figure out what parts of the dream I should be worried about and what parts I shouldn’t. Sometimes a shoe in a dream means commitment or something, and I’m not dismissing that concept, but I hold firm that sometimes a shoe is just a shoe.
I’ve only ran into this twice, but apparently some people have an instantaneous tingle-reaction when I touch them. I probably would have run into it a few more times if I didn’t stop touching people all together. It was probably 2008, I was working at a place called Teleresources. It isn’t there anymore, but it was next to the O’reilleys Autoparts on Superior Street. Anyways, we would make our phone calls selling Auto memberships or whatever, and eventually we’d all file out of the building for our smoke break. There was a guy about to bump into me, he was short and skinny, I didn’t know his name, but his face is burned into my mind. As he was about to bump into me I put my hand on his shoulder, to make him aware I was there and to sort of redirect him and myself, and he recoiled instantly. “What did you just do to me?” he exclaimed, as he looked at me with fear in his eyes, clutching his shoulder. I kept my hand floating there in the air and said, “I didn’t do anything, I just put my hand on your shoulder.” He saw that I wasn’t holding anything, and we talked about how strange it was for a minute. He told me that as soon as my hand made contact, he felt this deep tingling sensation where I put my hand. I went on to my smoke break and he went back inside. I watched him for the remainder of the shift, trying to see if he was on some drug or something, but I got no impression he wasn’t in his right mind, so what happened? This wasn’t the first time, there was a similar incident when I was younger, but it’s too hard for me to remember the details. It gave me a permanent hesitance towards just about any form of touch, and in 2008 I was in a time of my life where I was trying to rekindle some confidences, touching being one, but that day at Teleresources kindof confirmed I had a reason to be more concerned about who I touch than most, so to this day I have a difficult time putting my hands on anybody.
I’ve mentioned before how at a young age I had a lot of friends interested in consciousness. One big reason for that may have been the influence of my friends uncle, Stuart Davis. There’s a painter by the same name but I’m talking about the musician from Minnesota. He’s been featured in Time magazine and his music centers around introspective zen. I was a lucky enough kid that I got to spend a lot of time talking with him and a Buddhist priest he toured with, and occasionally I got to be a ticket taker and our group got to sit up on stage with him during his concerts. I can’t remember at exactly what point I got into meditation, but a song called “Transpersonal Cowboy” got me thinking about the “Om” sound some people apply while meditating. My research shows a lot of interpretations of the Om sound, a few from Shape.com, such as “Everything and Everyone,” but the interesting one is this: “In several ancient Indian texts, is described as a “sound from which all other sounds and creation emerge,” and represents a “Supreme Power.”” So once while alone in my friend’s sauna, I started meditating, and I tried making that sound for a while, and I noticed something I thought was interesting: After a short while of making that sound, I noticed I could no longer tell what exact sound I was making. It was as if it’s all the same sound at the core. I couldn’t tell if I was making a long A, an E, or an Ah sound, and the oh got lost. It would seem that reference has a more important roll in our interpretation of sound than one would guess. Perhaps that is the goal? The supreme vibration of sorts, revealing the oneness of the universe? I’m not implying that I “figured this one out,” I’m convinced there’s more to be discerned from the practice, and I can’t say for sure I’m right either, for as it’s been said, if you see the Buddha, go the other way. Also, if you’re into my writings, I recommend heading over to Youtube to check out some classic acoustic Stu. “Ommmm, little dawgies…”
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